white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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