in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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