I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
