Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
