Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
