It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
