What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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