Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
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my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
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Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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