im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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