I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
