Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
