woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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