I heard we made out
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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