We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
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of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
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It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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