Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
