i permit you to call me
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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