did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
