I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I could fuck to npr.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
