I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
