i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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