How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
