I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
