They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
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I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
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It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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