Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You've changed since you got that strap on
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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