I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
