She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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