Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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