i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
