I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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