this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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