What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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