haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
