Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize