Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
