Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
