But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
