I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize