At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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