i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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