4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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