Michael Bay diarrhea
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
