You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
