Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
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He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
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Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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