no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
