my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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