and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
