I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
