apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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