The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
