I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We have so much sex to catch up on
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
