My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Welp...herpes.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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