She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
