Farmville is her only friend.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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