I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
