How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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