am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
