I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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