i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize