apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
zippers are such a cool invention
time to smoke my breakfast
this just has baby written all over it
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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