If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
