I wanna bring you to show and tell
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
