dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
